- This article tries to understand the acuity of women in relation to their marital status. The basis of this article is the strong rooted patriarchal society prevalent in the South Asia.

“Marriages are made in heaven”. This has been an old verse which has repeatedly occurred in different stages of our life especially in the process of justifying our conjugal relationships; the better or the worst. Currently, young men and women in the South Asia have been trying to redefine marriage saying a blind game -a risky game making decision either by a heart or a brain. Today, the modern women struggle with their marriage along with their career, almost simultaneously. Women in the modern society are pursuing the challenging career showing themselves as capable as men in their society. But in the same process of advancing in the outer world, they are struggling between the relationships and the social norms & values.

“Marriage protects men from depression and makes women more vulnerable,” says a research study conducted by University of Washington, USA. In most of the societies the women have been a great supporter throughout their life span to build a home, career and life of men by sacrificing many things for instance their own career or interests. Whereas, men happened to be the least supporter to women as compared to the support provided by the women. For women, the give and give tendency leads the presence of man in their lives to become an irritant factor.

This is true that men do better in marriage than women. Marriages primarily benefits men than women. Marriage is a contract which is not based on the democratic process rather it is an autocracy of one of the signing parties. And autocrat spouse generally turns out to be a man. Unlike other relationships, marriage is also based on the power politics in which powerful player dominates the weaker player.

The stereotype men generally play the open-close game in their marriage where they make decisions but still ask their wives for their views. In general, men are decision makers in the relationship. Men are benefited from the marriage in many ways, as wives manages their houses, produce and nurture their children and share mental stresses both personal and professional. Majority of women are always working hard to sustain success in their men’s life. Even in a healthy relationship, a woman has to plan her day as per the mood of her husband. How he feels is more important than what is bothering her.

Men gain more than women in marriages. In a longer term of marriage, men are more active in the sex than women. In marriage, happiness in terms of peace and prosperity are the priorities for women whereas a man is more happy when he has have sex. Women, to some extent are hippocrates in the matter of sex and then they suffer alone.

In a patriarchal society despite of being how modern, daughters are considered to be burdens and their farewell (marriage) from the family are planned/dreamt since their birth. Even the modern girls in this part of this region are taught to adjust and compromise so that they can later live for others, particularly for men in their life.

Women when married are asked to leave their promising career, jobs and even their social networks. In this part of the world women are more responsible than men to make their relation success. No matter how much the couple has a faith over equality or how much are they gendered sensible, women are responsible for the majority of the household chores despite both of them being equally professionally occupied. Generally, in South Asia marriage is taken as the continuation for the inheritance of the family hence women are expected to reproduce as soon as possible when they are married. Almost more than fifty percent of young women give birth to their first child immediately after their marriage. This increases the responsibilities of women as a mother from a wife and a daughter- in-law.

Though men are more responsible financially to look after the family but in this modern world women also share this liability equally. Or, if a woman’s domestic work and her personal capacity to produce and nurture are economically valued, it would be more than equivalent to the responsibility shared by her husband.
Men do not have to give up their friendship after their marriage however the intensity of the gatherings is comparatively low than before marriage. Men are preached to control their wives since their childhood. They were never taught to compromise or think the other way like women.

Wives are manipulated or exploited by few husbands. Either it can be a filthy demand for dowry or more classy behavior to obtain the family status, few husbands use wives as a weapon and sometimes as a shield to protect their status and well being. In South Asia, women are more subjected to suffer from domestic violence especially from their husband. Mostly South Asian married women are financially dependent on their husband (majority from our mother’s generation). Women who are financially in secure, dependent lose their dignity and their self esteem and they are more vulnerable to go under depression. Women in their later phase of marriage are generally found to be depressed, stressed and dull. While men end up being skeptical and truly lethargic about their women and both continue accusing each other being incompetent.

At the later phase of marriage, a woman has no friend, independent & grown up children and a husband who does not understand her in fact who never understood her completely. She lived her life, left her job and her friends for her husband and her children so that she can be a lovely wife and a good mother but what she did was never acknowledged and remembered. A woman cannot figure out where and when she did a mistake for all the reasons of her unhappiness. (Wasn’t she responsible?)

A man is acknowledged and remembered for what he did, how many influencing networks he possess and also being a decent husband and a deserving father. Though he misses upbringing his children but he never regrets not to enjoy his entire life. (He has still few complains about her wife being ignorant.)

A world without marriage might be possible but not healthy hence not recommendable. The world’s population needs to sustain hence marriages are desirable. The end products of the stereotype (more than seventy percent) marriages are generally the nags and complain. However, only few healthy relations stored the key to a successful marriage resulting friendship and love throughout their relation. And off course, compromise is the key but it should be equitable from both partners otherwise we have no alternatives besides-marriages are made in heaven; the better or the worst.